March 2012
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feel dead. so dead that people are really worried about me and i dont even feel guilty, i dont even care, i cant. i am too dead. i am too dead yet i am living. it doesnt make any sense. it doesnt make any sense for me to be living.
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it all ends up tasting watered down, and everyone...
i dont think it’s right for me to use the word “relapsed”. i’m always going to be a self-harmer. even if i’ve not hurt myself for awhile, i still will be one at heart. i dont think it’s possible for the urges and thoughts to leave me for good. that’s the way i am programmed now, it’s an intrinsic part of myself, and as much as that makes me feel SICK...
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HELP. WHICH TWO OF THESE SHOULD I BUY???
http://www.sohos.co.uk/SALE-Womens-Tops/Mercy/Mercy-Jack-Polo-Shirt-Aqua_ct245bd9pd1678.htm
AND/OR
http://www.sohos.co.uk/SALE-Womens-Tops/Poizen-Industries/Poizen-Industries-Gothic-Black-Shirt_ct245bd32pd1939.htm
AND/OR
http://www.sohos.co.uk/SALE-Womens-Tops/Hell-Bunny-Tops-Trousers/Hell-Bunny-Pink-Sofia-Corset_ct245bd36pd1932.htm
AND/OR
...
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“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of...”
– Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
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things i am looking forward to over the easter...
- seeing josh tomorrow. thing is though, i’m not well and i dont want to make him ill but he’s insisting that even if i dont feel like going out he’s gonna come to mine and look after me AWW. <3 BUT like yeah i dont want to make him sick :/ plus i dont want to stay home anymore so i hope i am feeling a bit better. i really want to go to greenbank park and then we’ll...
REMEMBER WHEN I WAS ADDICTED TO TUMBLR
and now i just cba with it
funny how things change.
messssinn omg
i’m sick
my throat is fucking killing
i have a fever
my skin is sore
im not sure if i’m sunburnt or if it’s just eczema, i think perhaps a combination of both but if i am sunburnt it’s thankfully only a little cos if it was bad i would obviously be able to tell the difference lol so thanks iranian...
now that i'm here tho, i may as well continue to...
UMMMM so things are still at a very difficult time for me, mostly with regards to school cos of my poor attendance and therefore being really behind with work. on the plus side, i did finally write that piece of english coursework the other day and i e-mailed it to my teacher yesterday. but like i said i have to write the accompanying piece today :/
BUT although things are still tough, i feel...
Anonymous asked: Yes, I am indeed FABulous :3 *strikes slightly camp pose* And you're welcome; it's the least I could possibly do. And I think, as friends, we'd make an awesome team (imagine: The *insert adjective here* Duo), but I'm essentially a social pariah >.< It'd be kinda pointless since I'm moving back to Iran soon, anyway; and tbh I'm not looking forward to...
so clearly getting bored of tumblr now
to be honest like i said before the main reason i spend so much time one it was cos it was a space for me to get out all the horrible shit in my head that i didnt feel like i could talk about with people but
now two things have changed
firstly, i’m not in as bad a place so there is less of that horrible shit anyway, thank god
and secondly, i have people that i can talk to about...
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i used to work so well, and now it’s always like drawing blood from a stone to write essays or extended pieces of writing. i’m about halfway through this politics essay and i genuinely need a break i just cant concentrate and it’s so like PAINFUL almost. i’ve only wrote 377 words! dear lord. how am i going to cope in exams :S well hopefully i will be feeling a lot better by...
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i’m having my best, worst, and most stressful times in this period. it’s very odd.
gonna try and tackle school for the next few days. tomorrow is only a half day cos of one of my teachers apparently not gonna be in for fourth period and i have a free fifth anyway. then thursday is a long day til 5 cos of law, but i love law, and i’ll be seeing charlie on thursday too which is...
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oh god.
i am fucking smitten.
oh and here's a gpoy just for the hell of it
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think i'm starting to get bored of this really
or maybe it’s just because i finally have someone i can literally say absolutely anything to and they’ll always be able to deal with it. and then of course all the rest of my wonderful friends who perhaps struggle a little more sometimes with certain issues but on the whole are fantastic and help me so so much. i dont have so much use for this anymore because there is very little that...
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well
dunno, this week has been tough so far. there have been some good things dont get me wrong but…lots of dark, difficult, anxious periods.
i cant really be bothered moaning or explaining everything that’s going on right now. i will just focus on the good things to try and alleviate some of this uncomfortable anxiety that is creeping up on me quite badly now again in preparation for the...
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so um hey, you guys, this is me with josh...
…my boyfriend. :D
OH MY GOD THIS DAY HAS BEEN SO WEIRD
I’M SO HAPPY
:D
i dont even have words to describe how awful i feel right now.
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i love this girl
[20:42:55] Leo: i’m talking to ellie now on bbm
[20:43:03] Leo: feel like i havent seen her in ages
[20:43:09] Leo: havent seen you for awhile either
[20:43:23] Gina: I know girlfriend!!!!!
[20:43:30] Gina: Been two weeks
[20:43:32] Gina: Almost
[20:43:32] Gina: Lol
[20:43:35] Leo: oh lord
[20:43:39] Leo: thats way too long :P
[20:43:41] Leo: haha
[20:44:10] Gina: Almost forever
...
“Society has a problem with female nudity when it is not … —Badu pauses to get...”
–
Erykah Badu: June/July Cover Story [Pg 1] | VIBE (via sexisbeautiful)
Yes, perfect.
(via newwavefeminism)
Anonymous asked: I'd rather stay Anon--that's shy, ol' me, haha. As for envy, yeah it's stupid, but so is happiness when you let it go too far. I'm envious of many things: of the couple who share a happy relationship; of the pious sufi who is at one with God. But I strive to do better because of my envy, much like you have inspired me to. But I never let it turn to hate or greed....
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sayheyletsgo replied to your post: two thirds of the way through the coursework. time…
ahahaha not that bad, all of y coursework is a good three weeks late
this is gonna be about a fortnight overdue by the time i hand it in and then i have to write the other piece sometime which will probably be the same amount of time overdue ‘cause i’m gonna have a busy weekend. :’) i...
two thirds of the way through the coursework. time for yet another break. lol. omg.
i’m awful!
there are so many things i really used to enjoy that the depression just killed for me and i never got the enjoyment in them back…it’s actually really sad when i stop and think about it. examples:
- playing violin…i quit lessons in october and doubt i’m gonna go back ever again
- playing violin specifically in an orchestra, i quit my orchestra in december 2010 and...
just over half way through my english coursework. it’s shit. but whatever i just need something written down. ok need another break even tho i only wrote like legit less than 250 words in that burst. FML.
oh well it’s getting done ok slowly but surely come on maddy
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amillionexpectations replied to your post: amillionexpectations replied to your post: 259…
Good luck!! Just keep going, you’ll get there. Break everything down into chunks. Don’t think about the other essays. Just think of this one. XX
aww thank you thank you i’ll let you know how it goes. thanks for the support i appreciate it you’ve cheered me up a little haha :) hope you are...
“It’s a most distressing affliction to have a sentimental heart and a skeptical...”
– Naguib Mahfouz, Sugar Street (via thefreenomad)
ME this is me
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amillionexpectations replied to your post: 259 words into my english coursework. this is like…
I know this sounds stupid. But write a sentence at a time. Even if you think you’re writing crap, keep going and eventually you’ll get into it and feel confident. Good luck!
thanks, i will try to do that. i’m also gonna take lots of breaks. because i’m writing a psych report i...
259 words into my english coursework. this is like drawing blood from a stone, despite the fact that i have soo many resources to help me write it…i have the actual text (the yellow wallpaper), i have my fictional psych report i did on victor frankenstein for last year’s coursework (which i got a high B on), i have somebody else’s past A2 coursework fictional psych report of lady...
just managed to eat breakfast for the first time...
BUT
i feel ridiculously sick now. like i may vomit. oops. hope not. come on come on keep this down it will be fab if i dont be sick.
battling a headache and stomach pains neither of which i can medicate myself for effectively ‘cause of the antidepressant clashing with them. also still have sore knees so gonna put a bit of ibuprofen gel on them, i have to be careful even with that tbh. dont...
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mylovepoem:
when I have to pee, I like to tell everyone I have to pee
operation psych myself up for school this...
starts now.
kapowwwwwwww let’s do this leo
BE A MAN (like in mulan)
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all i do now is whinge about my meds
BUT THEY MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT.
i hate this so much. :( :(
“Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who...”
– (via porygons)
Anonymous asked: You and I don't know one another; we never will. But every now and then, I like to drop by here to see your posts--they never fail to bring a smile to my face and, in many ways, I envy you. But at the same time, the pain you also seem to go through on a near-daily basis hurts me. So I'm just writing this to tell you what you already know: that you are amazing in every sense of the word....
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