life update

so

1) ellie’s cousin lives really near to leeds uni and said we can stay with her the night before and after slamdunk! free accomodation so i think we are gonna stay both nights it will be so much easier and less stress and as it’s free we might as well lol. i said we have to buy her something tho to say thanks. the thing is she lives with like some of her friends and i’m pretty sure my parents wont like let me stay there. i can sorta understand why b/c they’re paranoid and stuff even though it would be me and ellie sleeping in the same room as her cousin for two nights. so we’d be perfectly safe as long as we’re not like retarded and do anything stupid. so idk what to tell them. but i’m loving the idea of this little trip and if we get there early afternoon on the friday we can go somewhere in leeds for a bit that afternoon/evening ‘cause i’ve never been to leeds before so it would be cool! so yeah idk what i’m gonna tell my parents yet EURGHH why do they have to ruin everything :( they bring me SO much stress it’s unreal.

2) i made an attempt at my next piece of english coursework but i’m sure it’s shit ‘cause it’s not very well written anyway but mostly i realised after writing it that it brings no new perspective whatsoever and is just a text version of a poem basically like i didnt even modernise it really like i did with the other piece. brilliant. ugh. 

3) i said i was gonna go the gym yday, then i said i would today…and i still havent been and i cant really go tomorrow b/c i have spanish. i guess i could go after spanish to be honest but i think i would feel too tired. idk. if not then i will go wednesday after school for defffffffinite.

4) TMI: still dunno what to do about the pill/my breakthrough bleeding. i decided to take another one yday and see how things go and decide whether to stop today or not. i only had a miniscule amount yday and then only a tiny bit today too though a little more than yesterday. i fear if i dont stop taking them it’ll just get worse every day anyway. ok you know what i am just gonna take the plunge and stop taking them for a week and then go back and regulate my cycle now. i’m just so scared i’ll have bleeding next weekend b/c the friday night i’m going out + staying at a friend’s so i really reallyyy dont want a period then :( at the very least not more than this tiny bit of breakthrough bleeding but i know my cycle will be fucked up that i could have a fair bit. :( ughhh.

5) WHY DO I STILL NOT HAVE A JOB??????? fuck.

6) UGH ludlow tomorrow. :’(

7) that’s if i even go in tomorrow morning. i will try my best i promise. i really should go in so. 

8) french aural mock thingy tomorrow urghhh but it’s not a MOCK mock so it should be ok and i’ve prepared for it so

9) politics mock i missed and STILL havent re-revised for yet. i am just way too knackered right now to do it now so it’s gonna have to wait again, oops.

10) then of course there’s the issue of depression. and anxiety. and related insomnia. -.- though my mum bought me kalms to help me sleep. i’m pretty sure they wont work seeing as my body is hyperalert and they’re probably relatively week seeing as they’re herbal over the counter shit but i will try it this week anyway and see what happens, you never know i guess. 

11) i have so much work and shit to do, omg, and it’s just not getting done. sigh.